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Showing 4 Reviews:
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by Bobbie-Jane
on 7/27/2011
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A woman's point of view
As a female, the world of martial arts can be unforgivingly male dominated. I've trained for a long time so I've learned to ignore jokes about my admittedly ample) décollage becoming visible due to my gi coming udone or comments such as "man, I'd sure give her one now" as I bend over to pick up the soap at communal shower - none of that bothers me anymore. However, my life was transformed by this Raspberry ape t-shirt (confusingly designed on a cherry
red base garment, not raspberry, but then I guess it is intentionally ironic?)
Let me explain...
Earlier this month, my boyfriend bought this tshirt home after securing it during a 'private' men only grappling tournament. Strangely it whiffed of baby lotion oil but he said it was acne cream and I threw it into the washing machine. After it was dry, I needed to pop out to the local store and had nothing to wear that matched my eye shadow that day so threw
on the Raspberry ape tshirt. OMG! I had not walked a hundred paces than a dozen guys swooped on me. Not in a lustful macho way, each one took turns to politely 'court' me with flowers, poems, fine wines and elegant language. I was on shock. I have not dared to wear this item since but I know, if anytime I get a little down from the macho subculture of my gym, I know I can just throw on this tshirt and magically be transformed into a world where ladies are
treated like ladies. I give this item 5 magical, raspberry pink stars!!!!
Bobbie-Jane |
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by Hugh Hefner
on 7/27/2011
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my secret
I got this shirt and thought....looks quite good. Then I put it on, was transported back in time and the rest is history. I owe this shirt my life. |
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by Amir Katsu
on 7/26/2011
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BAPE saved my life
In my home country we do not have three wolves and moon t-shirt like so many of the lucky people from America. Instead we have not even allowed to chew and spit out the gum on street for fear of police catch us and bang us. But lucky for me I have world wide web and can use it to order exotic fight wear t--shirts. Currently my collection it stand at one UFC t-shirt - the one with daggers on - and one Tokyo Five tshirt - the one with daggers on. I order one Three wolf moon t-shirt but the shop send me wrong one and I get this Bape t-shirt as mistake.
First I think it suck. But due to monsoon weather my UFC t-shirt got wet and shrunk too much to fit over my belly so in blindness and panic because my -9 glasses slip off, I put on wrong t-shirt, thinking it was my Tokyo Five tshirt I walk out street but catch myself in mirror, oh Amir you puff you wear wrong t-shirt now no one in school gonna thinkyou badass UFC guy anymore.
But I no make it to school, before even reach school bus I am assaulted by 12 nubile young ladies of dubious profession who all say I am badass and want to things with me. I am stunned of course but I realise it is power of new Bape tshirt. Lucky me, it is now my favourite tshirt. But must wear very ocashionally due to power of attraction. I now spit gum on street. No one touch me. I give this 4.7/5 I knock some off cos bit tight to fit over my belly.
Amir |
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by Brad Mcwilliams
on 7/25/2011
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Couldn't believe it.
Firstly I would like to say I bought this shirt because I like the colour red and thought it was one of those cool "BAPE" T shirt. Of course when it was delivered and I realised it was not a BAPE T shirt I was understandably distraught. However after contemplating it for a while I decided that most people would think it was a BAPE T shirt because of the original slogan that all BAPE T shirts have and this shirt has copied. Anyway I decided to wear it.
For the last year I have worn my three wolf moon T shirt at every possible occasion. For the first few months I had only one but every few weeks I would have to wash it, meaning that I wouldn't have a three wolf moon T shirt for a day or two. So I bought a second one that i could wear while the other was in the wash. I would cycle between the two. Anyway, the reason I purchased and later wore so religiously the three wolf moon T shirt was due to its legendary and unparalleled mystical ability to attract members of the opposite sex. I was skeptical at first, but being a virgin at 34 i decided to give it ago. As soon as I donned the three wolf moon T shirt I immediately stopped being a virgin, and it was all up hill from then. To give you an example, when I sleep in my three wolf moon T I usually wake up covered in 3-6 women (on average). And on a standard night out, make love to 12-14 women (on average) depending on my mood and energy levels.
You may think that this is a excessive amount of sexual activity, and at times im inclined to agree with you, in fact this actually leads quite well into the storey of this T shirt im currently reviewing. You see a man with the sort of unparalleled, almost criminal, attraction to females as me, at times grows tiresome and fatigued. I just felt like every once in a while I needed a break. Dont get me wrong, having a god like allurement of women is great a lot of the time. But what many dont see is the less glamourous side. For example, one wishes to simply go to a diner for a quiet brunch, however is mobbed by what can only be described as a hoard of model-esque women. Its inconvenient and at times even dangerous (I was once unfortunate enough to witness a beautiful young lady struck down by a car, merely because she couldn't wait a few seconds for the lights to go red before dashing across the road to get to me).
Anyway, I decided that i need a "normal" T shirt, one that I could wear to said diner. A T where I could once again experience the simple pleasure of walking down the street without have to wade my way through a large crowd of beautiful women. I thought to myself, if a man is to own only three T shirts, two of which are identical in designed, then ones third T must be something a bit special. Hence why I went to buy this BAPE T shirt* (*see above).
So I first adorned this T shirt and was excited at the prospect of both a undisturbed brunch and a uncrowded street. So much so that I decided to walk to the diner (despite it being a good 5 miles away). However it wasn't long after departing from my house that I realised what a mistake I had truly made (and not only regarding the length of the physical journey I had just embarked on). No more than 2 or 3 hundred yards out of my house when it struck me, nay, when SHE struck me, and not in a nice way, when the elegant beauty of a women strike your heart. It was more like the strike of a 285lb linebacker all full pelt. This women literally hammered into me, she must of been lying in wait to pouch or something, like some sort of sex obsessed lioness in the body of Megan Fox, because its seems as if she had come out of nowhere. This was merely the start of it, within seconds two. three. four. twelve ladies had appeared. It was like three wolf moon all over again !!! But WORSE !!!!! Like three wolf moon, but with a wolf on each sleeve and maybe one on the back !! or something ridiculous like that!!!! Unlike with the three wolf moon T shirt, where beautiful women would merely come up to me and start trying to seduce me, with this T shirt on they seemed to have no regard for pleasantries and what was previously deemed as socially acceptable, possibly even borderline. Now they were ravage beast, ravage sexual predators, sexy ravage sexual predators. And hungry for one thing and one thing only. Me. Imagine if "28 Days Later" had a unplanned child with "Girls Gone Wild 5: This Time Its Personal". After fighting off the women that ambushed me (using what seem at the time as a intermediate to high level of ground grappling ability, despite the fact that ive never partaken in any sort of martial arts training.....odd), I managed to get back to my house and lock myself in. After peaking outside it had seemed that the girls had returned to a more docile less sex-zombie-ish state. I deducted from this that it was the sight of the T shirt, that in a similar vein to the three wolf moon shirt (only inexpressibly amplified) which was affecting the women.
To put it in perspective, when sleeping in my "Raspberry Ape" T shirt I would now wake up covered in 17-25 women (on average) !!! Needless to say I was now faced with a indisputable problem, I was in possession of three T shirts, consisting of two different designs. One of which made me considerably attractive to women, the other that on viewing sent them into a sex obsessed frenzy. I had no choice but to go down into my basement and work. After four or five, and innumerable experiments performed it seemed I had come up with a plan. First I need to try it out on a real life test subject. So I set a snare, captured a women, and took her back to my basement for experimentations. First two control tests. I had the women bound with powerful chains, I then put on my three wolf moon T shirt, and set up my camera to record the findings. As expected a pon seeing me clothed in the three wolf moon T shirt the women became extremely flirtatious, side affects included playing with hair and excessive giggling. Next was the Raspberry Ape T shirt. As I entered, wearing the bright red T shirt I was taken about by the reaction. The change was almost instantaneous. I had never before seen anything quite so power. The girl dropped down onto all fours, trying hard to break free of the chains. Realising she could not escape she tore the greater part of her top of, revealing what I can only describe as an elite level of cleavage. She begged, nay, hounded at me to "come to her". After a few seconds, realising I was not following instructions she began to attempt to seduce me using graphic images and profanities that I would not dare repeat on here. I had had enough, I left the experimentation chamber.
Now to see if my days of arduous work and research had been in vein. Once again donned the three wolf moon T shirt, however this time I also slipped on a pair of skinny chinos and some boat shoes. Now the big moment. Would this work, or would I be bound to the fate of having endless hordes of sexually agressive yet beautiful women trying to pleasure me. I walked out to the chamber again...... Nothing. The women didn't even give me a second glance. For a second I was sure this couldn't be true. No way could a women act so casually around a male adorned in three wolves and a singular moon, it went against everything I thought I knew!!! Still in disbelief, I thought to myself, there must be something wrong!? Perhaps im wearing it backwards? inside out? I ran out of my basement, checking myself in the mirror. No, it worked. I was wearing the three wolf moon T shirt yet some how the combination of skinny chinos and boat shoes were so horrifically unattractive to women that they some how cancelled out the power of the three wolf moon!!!! I couldn't believe it. A pon realisation I instantly dropped to my knees, sobbing. It was over, the nightmare was over, "IT WORKS!!!!" I looked up the the heavens and proclaimed. Now the big questions; what does skinny chinos and boat shoes do to the power of the raspberry ape T shirt, contemplating it boggles the mind. Luckily I had no need for contemplation; I was about to find out. As I approached the female I saw, even felt, the reaction. For a second my heart jumped, "oh no! The Raspberry Ape T shirt is to powerful!!" I feared. But no, the change was obvious but no extreme. The women became flirtatious, extremely so, not much unlike in the control test with the three wolf moon T shirt, however it was greater. She giggled, played with her hair, she even summoned my over with a repetitive single finger motion. Some what confused, and baffled, not thinking straight I was draw over. She elegantly whispered some moderately graphic suggestions in my ear then allowing me to back off signed of with a single wink. It had worked, un. be. lievable. It seems that while the skinny chino/boat shoe combo was negatively attractive enough to completely eradicate the power of the three wolf moon T shirt, it had the same effect on the raspberry ape T shirt. However with the Raspberry Ape T shirt being so powerful it reduce its power to merely slightly greater than the three wolf moon T. Immediately I was taken a back by the realisation of the sheer power of this Raspberry Ape T shirt. There I was, living with two three wolf moon T shirts (that makes six wolves and over two moons in my house btw) thinking that there epic power was unparalleled in the apparel sector while meanwhile there was this other T shirt with over TWICE THE POWER!!!! I then unchained the women bound in my basement (a subtle cross between Angelina Jolie and Jessica Alba, except with a decent body) and took her upstairs to "take care of her". A few hours later I returned here to write this review.
So, to conclude my review; I now have the entire spectrum of sexual attractiveness to pick from at any given time. When I go to the diner I now wear my skinny chinos and three wolf moon T shirt. I eat in peace, and while returning to my car, no innocent women in mowed down. On a night out or at various other social gatherings I wear the Raspberry Ape T shirt with skinny chinos and boat shoes. I am approached and attempted to be seduced by all able sighted women, I usually pick me three or four favorite and they return home with me. Then every once in a while, when I suddenly awake in the middle of the night with a desperate erge to be satisfied I may be brave enough to ride my push bike down to the high street wearing merely my Raspberry Ape T shirt and a cushion under my butt to protect me from saddle ball. I ride my bike down the street, as women see me and turn into sex hungry animals I increase my speed. I get faster and faster as the crowd multiples until I have reached a respectable speed. I keep at this speed until one women presents herself as the genetically physically superior specimen (the one that can keep up with the bike for longest) and I chose her to mate with. I must note that the bike ploy doesn't work merely to single out the genetically superior specimen but also serves to tire the women out sufficiently enough that despite her wild appetite I can more efficiently physically control her.
All in all, a very nice T shirt. I gave it 4 and a half stars (rounded up cos this thing doesnt have halves.) |
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